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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Letting Go

When you love somebody so much, you always want to be with that person. You always want to let that person feel that you care for them. That no matter what happens your always be there for them. But what if you have given the best of you but its not enough to satisfy them. You are doing almost possible things that you can do just to make them happy but they're never happy. Your drain dead but they're still asking for more. You can't even hold them. Can't even feel them.

All a mother wants is for their baby to be nice and happy. I guess not just the mother but as well as the father. When I gave birth, I saw an angel in my hubby's arms. An angel that has been good and never gave us any problems us as new parents. An angel that I thought will always be the same but then I was wrong. Our lil angel baby is still much the same but there is one thing that he has been doing recently. He has been screaming till the top of his lungs whenever he likes to. Happy or sad he screams. Tell him to be quiet but he will answer back with a scream. We can't win but listen to his screams.

Lastnight,  I decided to do the chores even he is not yet asleep. Before, I wait till he sleeps but I always run out of time. Sometimes my hubby arrives from work and Im still doing something which I hate. Of course, as a wife I want to cater his needs too. While I was doing some chores, my baby was starting to get crabby because he was getting tired already. I did whatever I can just to make him sleep but not enough for him. He doesnt cry though but he screams. A language of his that I can't understand. I did everything but nothing worked so I just decided to let him go coz Im done. I continued the chores while trying to calm myself from the dissappointment I felt of not being able to make him happy. Hearing him screaming was like a failure to me as his mother.

He was on his tummy...screaming, complaining and moving so much just to get attention. I just looked at him wishing he will stop. Trying to convince myself that he will get tired of what he was doing. Suddenly, he stopped and fell asleep. I looked at his face to make sure his asleep and it made me laughed. My adorable baby sleeping on his tummy feeling contented and happy. The baby with a cute lil face that i love so dearly. The cute lil face that once was an angel is now a big boy. A big boy that doesnt know everything yet but knows when to tell me by his loud lil screams..."mommy, I've had enough so please let me go."


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