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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I Survived!

Its been three days now since I got out from the hospital. Its been three days now that I got back my life and freedom from the scary moment of my life. The thought of facing death and leaving your love ones was not easy. But God is so good that He gave me another chance. A chance to live, to love and reach the heavens above. Oops, that sounds familiar.
Anyway, I'm back! I'm blogging away again! I didn't have time to blog the day I got out from the hospital because I was so tired. Being in the hospital for sixteen days wasn't totally easy but I made it. Every time I think how did I do that? Laying on the bed. Watching the tick tack clicking clock and waiting for time to pass by. Oh my god, good thing I didn't go crazy.

25th of February when I went to the hospital for surgery of the big mass in my jaw. Me and my hubby was pretty nervous waiting for me to be admitted to the surgery. When my name was called we needed to leave our baby to a perfect stranger sitting in the waiting area because children under 12 years old is not allowed to get inside. As we were walking to the room with the nurse, he told me that I looked nervous and I said because the doctor said I could die and then he said "you wont die, nobody die from it". Me and my hubby felt relieved and laughed but still felt a bit nervous. The surgery took 12 hours just to remove the mass because the doctor was so careful with all the nerves on the face and blood vessels that she needed to connect. I cant imagine how hard it is but she was able to do it.

After the surgery, I woke up with my mouth wired and a hole in my neck for breathing. The wired in my mouth was easy but the hole in my neck was so hard for me. I cant breathe through my nose because I breathe to the hole. Every time I cough some mucus always comes out from the hole so I always call the nurse to suction the mucus in the hole so I can breathe. That hole in my neck almost killed me. One night, I was calling the nurse so bad because I couldn't breathe anymore. I woke up with all the people surrounding me, trying to revive me because I passed out. The hole was clogged with so much mucus because the nurse didn't suction it. I didn't know I almost died from it. They called my hubby and told him what happened. He was all worried that he even cried when he got to the ICU where they brought me just to make sure I'm gonna be okay. I wasn't really an ICU patient but they kept me there till my second surgery.

My second surgery took nine hours. I woke up with still a hole in my neck, wired mouth plus an aching leg because they took a fibula bone in my leg to use it for the reconstruction. My doctor really made sure that it wont happened to me again so she really told the nurses to monitor me very well. I was hooked to a lot of devices left and right. That's why I wasn't really doing anything but lay on the bed all the time. I learned how to suction myself because I didn't want to depend my life to some nurses who didn't really care. I needed to be wise because I was alone. Nobody was there for me all the time to help me. Though my hubby was there everyday but he doesn't sleep there. There were few times I cried because I felt so alone especially every time my hubby with our baby needed to go so he can go to work. My hubby always try to cheer me up and tell me that everything will be fine. He always make sure that when he leaves I am not sad.

I was alone in the hospital but God was there for me all the time, everyday to make me strong. He made it so easy for me that instead of one month in the hospital it only took thirteen days from the second surgery to the day I discharged from the hospital. When I was there, I never questioned God why it happened to me. Instead, I felt so much of His love for me that He gave me a very wonderful husband and a happy baby plus in His own mysterious ways He showed how much He loves me. I know there will still be challenges for me that I need to face. Maybe its something big. Maybe its something small. But I know God is with me. I know He is just there. That's why I'm here. That's why I survived.

1 comments:

Riza DP said...

Wow RR, nakakabilib ka talaga. What you'd been through in the hospital was not easy, but you made it. God is always good. Praise God for a successful surgery. God bless!

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